


The Journey to London

by marvelfan4lyfe



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Fluff, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, So yeah, i just really relate to newt, mentions of abuse, signs of depression form credence, this is lowkey crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:36:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8696797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfan4lyfe/pseuds/marvelfan4lyfe
Summary: Newt was never good with people. When Credence comes along, Newt can only helplessly watch him suffer, fearful that he would only make things worse with his lack of people skills. However, Newt finds that they connect perfectly with the help of his creatures.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> theres some controversy about this ship so i was scared at first to show any sign that i shipped them but now i dont give a shit. im really glad that there are other people who do ship them tho, so i really hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> also, theres not enough fics about this pure ship. so I made this shitty fic in hopes that others will look at its shittiness and be inspired to make fics way better than this one.

The boy was still in the same spot on the rickety bed, not moving except to eat and go to the bathroom. Newt was starting to worry.

He was distracted from writing his book, glancing every minute or so back to Credence as if to make sure he was still there and hadn't made a quiet escape. At this point, however, Newt would've been lucky if Credence lifted an arm. Newt sighed, turned back to his work for the hundredth time, and stared at his blank page. This wouldn't do at all. 

He stood up, slightly swaying along with the unsteady ship, and gingerly placed a hand on Credence. He made no move to show that he felt it.

"Credence?"

No answer.

"Credence, are you..." No, dumb, of course he wouldn't be alright. Newt thought for a moment, and changed his tactic. "Would like to come into the suitcase with me? It's quite nicer than this room, and I would like it if I had a hand in feeding my creatures." It hadn't seemed like the poor boy wanted to talk at all, what with his only words in the past three days being, 'Help me,' and Newt was just terrible at comforting people. This would be easier for the both of them.

Newt patiently waited for an answer, but the minutes went by and Credence hadn't spoken a word. Newt wasn't even sure if he was awake or not. He sighed, and tucked Credence's blanket up higher. "Credence, if you need anything at all, just knock on the suitcase. I'll be back in a jiffy." With one last pat on his arm, Newt left him alone.

*********************************************

"I just don't know what to do, Pickett." Newt frowned, absentmindedly tossing an American nickel at the Niffler as he made his rounds. "I'm not sure how one goes about a person such as Credence. Do you reckon I'm doing something wrong?" 

Pickett nodded vehemently from his shoulder.

"Oh you little bugger." Newt giggled as he tried to grab the Bowtruckle running around his body. He finally snatched him up, and with his spirits lifted, plopped him on top of his head and continued tending to the creatures.

Quite a lot of time had gone by the time Newt dropped his empty bucket outside of the shed. The feeding usually didn't take so long, but Newt liked going around talking to the creatures and making sure they were happy. Pickett had long since gone to sleep in the nest he had made in Newt's hair, which told Newt that it was probably late. 

He opened the door to the shed, looking down as he muttered his list of things to do the next day, and quickly closed the door so any of the pesky ones wouldn't race out. Just as he turned back around however, he was face-to-face with Credence.

"Oh!" Newt clutched his chest (A bit dramatically. He's picked up a few habits from Pickett). "God, I am so sorry, I must've not heard you while I was with the Erumpent. So sorry." Newt took a step back, avoiding the steady stare Credence had on him. Looking at Credence was a bit...he was intense. The perpetual sadness he had in his eyes always made Newt feel useless in his incapable ability to help him. 

"Sorry, Mr. Scamander." Credence ducked, made himself look smaller. Newt waited a beat, expecting him to say more but he didn't. He was a man of few words.

"No, it's my fault Credence, don't worry about it. And please, call me Newt." He smiled tentatively. "Did you need anything?"

"I just..." He squirmed a bit, as if not used to asking for things. He glanced up, and this time Newt managed to keep his eye for a moment and smiled encouragingly. Credence quickly broke the eye contact, but it seemed to have helped. "I was wondering if...if I could see them. Your...creatures."

Newt was sure that if he smiled any wider his face would crack. 

***************************

The early hours of morning found Newt and Credence, hand-in-hand, excitedly going to all the creatures of the suitcase. Well, it was more like Newt was chattering excitedly and dragging around a mildly amused and awestruck Credence. A couple of times, Newt had caught him even smiling a bit, which just gave him even more energy. 

"They're incredible, aren't they?" Newt beamed proudly as they stopped in front of the Occamy nest and let go of Credence's hand to gently pick one up. Credence didn't answer, he didn't really need to since his facial expression told Newt what he was thinking. Newt watched him for a moment, drinking in the sight before he abruptly shook his head. He cleared his throat as he set the Occamy back down.

"Now," Newt reached into his pocket for his watch but swore as soon as he realized the Niffler had it again, "Well let's assume it's time for bed." He cast a grin at Credence, and didn't notice his blush since Newt was already on his way back to the shed. "Come on, I'll show you how to feed them tomorrow, if you'd like." He held the door open for the other boy, and closed it behind him. 

Credence just nodded. 

"Wonderful." Newt smiled to himself as he busied himself with preparing the food for the next day. Credence stood by awkwardly.

'Am I doing something wrong?' The thought was still stuck in Newt's head. He saw how much fun Credence was having while Newt was showing him the creatures, and while he was happy that he was finally doing something, Newt couldn't help but feel it wasn't enough. And of course it wasn't. Newt was always used to turning to his creatures for his own problems, and while that may help him, it didn't always work for everyone. Credence was such a broken boy too, Newt knew that it was time for him to get his head out of the clouds and actually help him. He needed to get over himself. 

Newt finished shortly after, and he hesitated a bit before turning around to face Credence. 

"Can I come over and give you a hug?"

Credence was so startled that he looked up, bewildered. Newt forced himself to not look away. Not from those sad eyes that screamed for someone, anyone to help. No more looking away.

"Uh..."

"Can I?" Newt raised his arms and looked hopefully at him. 

There was a long pause before Credence nodded just barely. 

Newt strode forward, and wrapped his arms around him. 

Boy, was it awkward at first. Credence and Newt were both around the same height, it was just the fact that Credence was constantly hunched over that it gave the impression he was shorter. He was still hunched over, and seemed to have froze as soon as Newt touched him. However, Newt waited, and eventually Credence lowered his head against his shoulder, and raised one hand to place against Newt's back. Still awkward, but it was nice.

"Credence, I just wanted to say..." This was hard.

"I... well, I need you to know this, it's rather important..." Newt shifted slightly but then leaned his head against Credence's. (Pickett fell into Credence's hair but Newt didn't want to ruin the moment.)

"Okay, I just," Deep breath. "I'm glad you are alive."

Neither of them say anything. 

Until, Newt begins to feel some wetness on his shoulder. Credence began to shake more now, and Newt patted his back as he started sobbing. 

"I-I'm sorry. I just, it's all overwhelming and-" His words got lost.

"Shh, shh, I know, I know. But you're alright now, you're safe with me and I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll teach you how to control your power and everything will be okay. Shh.." Newt continued to whisper comforting things to Credence as he calmed down. 

"Thank you." Credence whispered. "Thank you for taking me in, for helping me." Newt took his face in his hands, looking at him with kind eyes and a steady gaze. 

"You're always welcome here, with me and my creatures." Something distracts him, and he sees Pickett snuggle deep into Credence's hair with a happy smile. "You seem to fit in perfectly fine, anyways." Newt laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more chapters or nah? idk.


	2. Stay with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a concept: newt calling his creatures sweet little nicknames like- "its alright, little one, Mum's got you" or "Come down, sweetheart, come on down now" and etc, until one day he accidentally calls Credence one of his cute nicknames and hes a blushing, flustered mess apologizing over and over while Credence is smiling more than he has in years
> 
> okay, i was blown away by the amount of people who wanted a second chapter like whhhaaatttt yall are so crazy and nice and aaahhhhh yall are great. Not sure where this story may take us but well let's hope its one you guys can enjoy. thank you to everyone who motivated me either by leaving kudos, comments, or just bothering to give this story a read. thank you.

After that night, Newt found that being with Credence in the suitcase was actually pleasant. Credence asked all sorts of questions which always got Newt going, and he handled the creatures with such a gentle hand that it warmed Newt's heart. 

They were by the Graphorns, and Newt could tell that Credence was a bit more hesitant with them than the other creatures.

"You alright there, Credence?" Newt called to him as he flung a piece of meat to one of the baby Graphorns.

"Yes." Credence replied. "It's just, they're a bit-" He flinched as another Graphorn curiously sniffed him, grazing his skin with a slimy tentacle.

"Fascinating, right?" Newt walked over to one of the adult Graphorns, laughing as its tentacles playfully tickled his face. "Well, I suppose their tentacles can throw people off, but I think they're nice." Newt looked over at Credence with a grin as the Graphorn chose that moment to plop its tentacle on his face, completely obscuring his view.

Amazingly, Credence laughed.

Well, it was more of a snort than a laugh, and it seemed a bit out of place for him as though he hadn't laughed in a long time, but Newt loved it. He instantly wanted to hear more. 

"Right, just one more creature to feed and we can go look at the Occamys again. I noticed you fancied them more than others?" Newt picked up his empty bucket, patted the Graphorn one last time, and dragged Credence by hand to the Fwooper.

Credence looked down, barely smiling. "They're very pretty." 

Newt beamed at him, feeling a surge of pride as one would feel if their own child was being praised. He watched as the other man stepped forward with an outreached hand to the Fwooper, letting its furry face nuzzle against his knuckles.

Yeah, Credence was pretty great with the creatures.

*********************************  
Once they had finally finished, it was time to go to bed. With a final sweep of the beasts and the shed, Newt ushered Credence up the stairs and out of the suitcase, clicking it shut with a sense of finality.

"Alright, well, I'm going to work on my book some more. Feel free to..." Newt made a vague hand motion. Even he wasn't sure what he mean by that, but no matter, he was already thinking of writing down ways to care for a broken wing of a Diricawl. He sat down at his desk, picked up his quill, and began writing.

However, it seemed that Credence wasn't yet tired, and he walked up to the side of Newt, tapping his shoulder.

"Yes, Credence?" Newt didn't look up, continuing his furious scrawl. He had the vague thought that he maybe was being rude but it was forgotten as he realized he misspelled a word.

"Mr. Scamander, may I..." Credence trailed away, making Newt stop his writing for a moment to look up at him. Credence made a gesture to the small step stool sitting beside Newt, indicating he wanted to sit there.

Newt felt bad instantly. "Oh! So sorry, I thought you might've wanted to sleep, but yes, yes of course you can sit." Newt scooted over, a useless task since the desk was large enough but Newt was just moving for the sake of doing something.

Credence sat down, perched on the very edge of the stool and looked at Newt.

Newt looked back, unsure for a moment, but quickly turned to his papers. He hesitated before dipping his quill in the ink and starting again.

And that, that was why Newt preferred being with Credence while they were with the creatures rather than without.

He loved his company, don't get him wrong; it was comforting being with another person while he was working outside of the suitcase. It was just, Newt didn't really know how to talk to another person, especially one that was hurting like Credence, without having one of his creatures as a topic for discussion. He had made up his mind last night to get over his inability of social interaction and help Credence, but Newt found that was easier said than done.

It was also just last night when he had told Credence he was glad he was alive, and made him cry. Newt felt horrible about that, but at least he had continued comforting Credence rather than step back like he usually would've done. Newt still felt useless, like he hadn't done enough.

And really, Newt didn't. He should've stopped the Aurors, should've done better at calming Credence down but he had failed him. He failed the boy who was surrounded by people who constantly failed him throughout his life. For that, Newt would never be able to forgive himself. 

'Must make it up to him, somehow.' Newt thought to himself as he set down the quill. Credence tensed at that.

"Was I too loud? I'm sorry, I'll go." Credence quickly stood up, banging the stool on the floor in his haste. He looked down, defeated.

"No no, Credence, you've done nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all." Newt stood up as well, thinking for a moment before he mechanically placed a hand on Credence's shoulder. 'Comfort him, you bugger.' Newt scolded himself.

"I just had a thought. A bit stuffy in here, don't you think? I thought you might want to walk around, up on the deck." Newt tilted his head, glancing around the room. "Unless you want to stay here. Completely up to you."

"Uh..." Credence paused. "Won't there be people up there?"

"Well yes, the occasional crew member, but it's usually deserted at this time. I go up there myself sometimes whenever I can't write." Newt huffed out a misplaced laugh. "Quite peaceful, actually." He quickly patted Credence's shoulder and dropped his hand.

Credence didn't say anything for so long that Newt thought he had messed up again when he realized Credence wasn't afraid of being seen, he was afraid of getting hurt.

"Credence," Newt said softly, taking a step forward and placing both hands on his shoulders. "No one will hurt you ever again. I'll make sure of it. I'm sorry to have brought this up, we don't have to go if you don't want. Just a silly thought."

Credence glanced up. "No, I want to go up. Can we?"

Newt smiled. "Of course."

***************************

They didn't go too far, just right outside the door where they came out. Newt let go of Credence's hand, grinning as he walked up to the railing. The breezy wind brought the crisp smell of seawater, and Newt could hear the waves crashing against the boat as they cut through the ocean. Peaceful.

Looking back, Credence was still standing right outside the door, still unsure of where to go. Newt waved him over and pointed up.

"See those stars, Credence? Can't see those with the city lights." The black night sky was plastered with sprinkles of shining light. It never failed to take Newt's breath away. "Must be at least ten stars, don't you reckon?" Newt laughed at his own joke before he could stop himself. To his relief, Credence smiled at him before looking back up.

Looking at Credence, in that state of awe and wonder, was a beautiful sight. A boy who had no hope, who thought everyone was against him, learn to see the beauty in the same things Newt liked was powerful to watch. 

Newt caught himself watching Credence too late. Credence looked back at him, and seeing that he was watching, immediately looked away. Newt could see tinges of pink lighting his ears. Newt himself coughed, embarrassed, and finally looked away to watch the waves below.

"Credence?"

"Yes, Mr. Scamander?"

"Ah call me Newt, please. It's a bit unusual to call a friend so formally."

"A friend?"

"Yes, of course. We're friends." Newt stated factually. He doesn't see Credence duck his head to hide his smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm just used to calling people like that. My mother, she-" Credence stopped. Newt looked back at him, worried.

"Let's come to a compromise then." Newt said hurriedly, wrapping an arm around Credence's shoulders. "You can call me...Mr. Newt. We both win." He grinned. Credence didn't look up. 

"Hey, hey." Newt gently took his chin so he could look at him. His eyes were watery. "It's alright. Don't go to that place. Stay here with me, okay?" Newt pleaded, seeing Credence's eyes start to go white. "Credence, stay with me."

There was a tense moment where Newt held his breath. Finally, Credence's eyes regained color, and he nodded feebly. Newt internally let out a sigh of relief.

"Can I call you Mr. Credence, then? That way you won't be alone in calling me Mr. Newt." 

Credence smiled, and nodded with more confidence. 

Newt stepped back, widely smiled and bowed dramatically with his hand out for Credence to take. "Alright then, Mr. Credence. Shall we continue?" He waved his hand with an exaggerated flourish. Newt looked up through his hair, and he saw Credence quietly snicker before taking his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Newt. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes gay.


	3. Trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee, again, thanks for the kudos, comments, and just everything you guys do. this is my first multi-chapter work so here's hoping i dont fuck it up. enjoy!

The next day had gone off with a good start. Once Newt had woken up from his spot on the floor, he found Credence standing over him. It seemed like he had been waiting for a while now.

"Mr. Credence?" Newt said groggily, wiping away the sleep from his eyes. "Did you need something? Sorry, I was up a bit later last night."

Credence shifted uncomfortably. "That's alright. I was wondering, I mean, I was waiting for you so we could go care for the...the creatures..."

Newt's grogginess was wiped away, and replaced with a bright smile. He loved seeing Credence being so excited about the creatures. It was a nice change to see someone other than Newt show so much care for them. "Of course!" Newt hurriedly got up, his back creaking slightly. He had some back troubles ever since he had taken the floor and let Credence sleep on the cot, but it wasn't a big deal for him. "Erm, but we must get some food. Can't work on an empty stomach." Newt grabbed his coat and walked to the door. He looked back expectantly. "Well? Go on in the suitcase, on you go."

Credence startled, looking up with wide eyes. "Alone?"

"Yes, well, I reckon you'll get bored waiting for me in this room. Just don't start without me, okay?" Newt smiled warmly as he flicked his wand to the suitcase, propping it open. Credence looked at the waiting suitcase, then back at Newt as if still unsure of himself.

"You trust me?"

The question surprised Newt. It was a simple one, but one with a mountain of meaning behind it. Newt waited until Credence made eye contact with him before he replied, "With my life." He forced himself to keep looking at Credence, and with a sympathetic smile and a nod to the suitcase, he left.

**********************

Newt carefully balanced the two plates as he made his way down into the suitcase, setting them down on a cluttered table once he reached solid ground. 

"Mr. Credence?" Newt called out, attempting to make more room for them both to eat on the table. "Mr. Credence?" He called out louder after not getting a reply.

And that's when he stopped. He craned his head, and he could hear faintly, just outside the shed door....

Screams. Not a human scream. Beastly screams.

Newt nearly tripped over himself in his hurry, and he flung open the door to see the suitcase was in complete chaos. Creatures were braying, screaming, and howling but cowered in their habitats. An assortment of items were whirling around in a deafening whirlwind, and Newt had to duck as a bucket flew for his head. He looked, horrified, at the swarming black mass that was Credence, prepared to throw a screeching Mooncalve to the floor.

"NO!" Newt cried out. In that instant, the makeshift hurricane stopped. Various cluttering sounds rang out as items dropped to the floor. The roiling black fog calmed, if only a little. Newt stepped forward. "Cre- Mr. Credence, don't hurt him!" He had to shout over the collective thunderous roar the creatures were making. "If-if you must hurt someone, hurt me! But please, please, don't hurt him!" Newt was nearly in tears, desperately reaching out a hand in vain. "Hurt me!"

The Mooncalve was dropped, but Newt was quick enough to whip out his wand and carefully give him a safe descent. He watched as it scampered to its family. That was all he was able to do before Credence roared, fired up once more, and went after Newt.

He was flung back, skidding on the floor for a few feet before stopping. His wand was ripped from his hand from the sheer force of the attack. The creatures were even more riled up at seeing their caretaker being hurt, but Newt assured them, "Everyone calm down! Stay in your habitat!" He swiftly reached into his inner pocket, and took out a trembling Pickett. "Go!" Newt safely deposited him on a nearby tree. He turned back to Credence, who looked like he was preparing another attack.

"Mr. Credence! You can fight this!" Newt got up, wincing at the immense pain in his back as he did. "You are stronger than this, control it!" He was getting closer. "I can help you control this!" There was a faint human scream within the fog. "You just need to trust me!"

The fog stilled at that. 

Newt held his breath.

The fog began to swirl down to the floor, becoming denser and denser until it finally formed the crying boy, hunched over and hugging his knees.

Newt let out a sigh of relief. He walked closer, slowly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Credence sobbed out as Newt had gotten closer.

"Shh." Newt whispered, crouching down as he reached him. He hesitantly placed his hand on Credence's shaking back, and he flung himself at Newt.

Newt made some kind of noise as he was pushed back on his bottom, and in his lap was Credence, crying and holding on to him tightly. "Shh..." Newt continued to comfort him, putting one hand in his hair and the other at his back. "You're okay. You're with me now." It was just like that night two days ago, where Newt had continued whispering sweet things into Credence's ear. Same thing, but different context.

Credence took a lot longer to calm down this time, and Newt waited patiently as he did. Finally, when he was just letting out hiccups, Newt took the chance to ask, "What happened?"

"I-I." There was another round of crying. Newt apologized for bringing it up, assured him that he wouldn't have to say anything, but Credence shook his head. "No, it's okay." He sniffed. "I- I was feeding the Mooncalves. I'm so sorry, Mr. Newt, I know you said to wait and I was being so stupid, so dumb-"

"No, shh, shh. You did nothing wrong. Go on." Newt cupped his cheek, gently moving Credence's face to look at him. There was a moment where Credence steeled himself.

"And I, I began thinking. Of-of my mother. Of the people that I k-killed." He had difficulty letting out the word. "I didn't know what I was doing, but I must've gotten too aggressive with one of the Mooncalves. It bit me." 

Newt moved his hand from Credence's face to take both of his trembling hands. His right hand had a bite mark on his index finger and was bleeding.

"It did nothing wrong!" Credence was quick to defend it. He must've misinterpreted the serious look on Newt's face. "It was completely my fault, he was only doing what any creature would've done!" He looked down. "I'm sorry, Mr. Newt. I lashed out, and I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hurt him or you. I'm sorry."

"Mr. Credence, please, look at me." It took a moment, but he slowly peered up at Newt. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing. If anything, it's my fault. I wanted to wait until we got to London for us to begin training you, but I underestimated you." He smiled sadly.

"I'm-"

"Don't apologize, you have nothing to apologize for, Mr. Credence. I'm sorry to have failed you." There was a hitch in Newt's throat as he hunched over. It was true, he had failed Credence again. Even after vowing not to, Newt had gone and done it again. Christ, he was a horrible, horrible-

"Failed me?" Newt was too ashamed to look up. "Mr. Newt, you saved me. You took me in when I was lost. You- you," Credence was the one now to take Newt's face. "You gave me a reason to live. And I will never ever forget that."

Newt bit his lip, embarrassed by the tears that were falling out. He huffed out a laugh and closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Credence's. Credence wrapped his arms around Newt, and this was so backwards, so upside down, that Newt would be the one who was getting comforted by Credence. 

'Ah, well,' Newt tightened his grip on the boy before him. 'Funny how that happens.'

 

***************************

Credence helped Newt back into the shed, who was groaning as he remembered the pain in his back. He was sat down on a box.

Newt breathed heavily for a moment, before looking to Credence and saying, "I'm sorry to have to order you like this, but I need some help?" Credence nodded vigorously. Newt smiled softly. "Thank you, now..." Newt began listing off ingredients they would need to soothe his back, and Credence was scurrying around the shed with his guidance. As Credence began grinding the ingredients into a bowl, Newt stood up stiffly, letting out a groan as he turned his back to Credence. He reached for his wand, but swore as he remembered that it was now lying somewhere out there on the floor. 

He began to take off his clothes, reminding himself to not take magic for granted ever again. Suddenly tiny Pickett was there, trying in vain to help Newt in his painful task. He must've climbed back onto Newt without him realizing. Newt laughed. "You little bugger, I told you to go." He fondly bopped his leaves. Pickett just smiled.

Newt finished taking off his shirt, with the help of Pickett, and was leaning against the box when he heard a gasp behind him. He turned around and saw Credence who seemed to have froze. He was looking Newt up and down.

"You alright?"

"Mr. Newt, you have scars...who punished you?" Credence took a step forward, in a daze, and it seemed that he wasn't aware that he was reaching out and tracing one of the many scars on Newt's stomach.

"Excuse me?" Newt was confused for a moment, until the realization dawned on him. 

Punished. Credence thought that the scars Newt had gotten from beasts were a form of punishment from someone else. His heart always hurt whenever he looked at the scars on Credence's hands, but now it was like it was getting stomped on. 

"No, not punishment." Newt croaked out. "They're um, they're wounds from beasts. They always catch me off guard." He breathed out a humorless laugh. 

Credence lightly traced one on his shoulder. Rather nasty one. "Not punishment?"

"No." Newt said with finality. "Never. Like how you'll never be punished from anyone ever again." Credence's hand stilled, and he looked at Newt, wonder in his eyes like the first time he had seen Newt's creatures.

Newt broke the eye contact, clearing his throat and nodding to the bowl in Credence's hand. "You have it ready?"

"Oh!" Credence was shaken out of his daze. "Yes, yes it's ready." 

"Thank you, Mr. Credence." Newt turned around, exposing his back to Credence. He waited for a moment. No movement. "Mr. Credence?" Newt turned his head slightly.

"May I call you N-Newt? From now on?" His voice was quiet.

Newt grinned. "Of course, Credence."

Credence began to rub the mixture onto Newt's back, and he nearly moaned at the instant relief it gave him. All the knots in his back loosened, and the tightness in his shoulders vanished. He let out a soft sigh, without realizing it. 

(Pickett snickered nearby.)

"Em, thank you, Credence." Newt said, reddening brightly as he internally kicked himself.

Credence coughed. "Y-you're welcome. Newt. I think I'm done." He quickly stepped back.

"Oh, right." Newt couldn't help but sound disappointed. It felt nice, having such soft hands at his back opposed to his calloused skin. "Right." He began to redress himself.

"Uh, Newt?" Credence spoke.

"Hm, yes?"

"Do you want me to wait in the room while you..."

"Don't talk nonsense, dear Credence." Newt smiled at him. "I will need some help with the creatures."

"But, I might hurt them again." 

Newt finished the buttoning up his shirt, and sighed. He faced Credence.

"You can't live in fear, Credence. And I will be right by you." He held out his hand. 

Credence hesitated, but he took it.

 

***************************

They had gone to the Occamys first, and since they had grown to like Credence as well, it was easy for them to welcome him back. Newt smiled at Credence, who was cooing at them. Newt looked at the other creatures, noting that they were restless and weary. He knew it would take a while to gain their trust in Credence again, but Newt believed in him.

After a long time, once the other creatures were fed and happy, they reached the Mooncalves. Credence was trembling, and Newt squeezed his hand in reassurance. 

"Go on." He whispered.

Credence crouched to their height, and they instantly backed away. He was discouraged, but only for a moment. He reached in their feeding bucket, and took out a handful of food. He gently tossed it their way.

"That's it, Credence. Nice and steady." Newt encouraged him.

They waited, but eventually the Mooncalves carefully plucked the food from the air, eating it slowly. There was a look of relief in Credence's eyes. He took one step forward, but in that instant, they scattered. The relief was replaced by sadness.

Newt placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, it'll take time of course, but things will be back to normal with them. Just you watch." He offered a smile. Credence smiled and nodded.

Newt whirled around suddenly, eyes searching the floor. Credence took a step back, bewildered from his sudden shift in tone. "Right, must find my wand...it's rather important... Aha!" He bent over and picked up his wand. "There you are." 

He glanced back at Credence and grinned. 

"Time for bed, now. Got to be up early for your first lesson tomorrow, yes?"

Newt walked away, leaving behind a shocked but giddy Credence.

********************

They were up in the room, and Newt just finished laying out his blankets on the floor when Credence's hand rested on his shoulder, stopping him. Confused, Newt looked up at him.

His cheeks were completely red, and he stammered out, "T-take the bed. Please." 

"Oh, no I can't. That's yours. I'll be fine, Credence."

"But Mr.- er no, I mean, Newt. Newt, your back."

Newt patted Credence's hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Credence. I'll be fine." Newt reassured him, and turned back to his blankets when Credence gripped his shoulder again.

"Please? We could-we could share. I'm used to it. We shared beds at my orphanage all the time." 

"Oh, well it's not that I wouldn't like to share a bed with you. I would. Like it, I mean," Oh, you idiot. "I-I mean, I'd be fine with sleeping with you." Oh, no.

Newt took a deep breath, already feeling a red-hot blush come on his face. "I...I want to make sure you'd be fine with it."

Credence nodded.

Newt started to smile brightly, but then figured it'd be weird, so he tried suppressing it. He must've looked like he was grimacing.

"Alright, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.


	4. In the Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick thing: for some reason in the notes at the bottom of every chapter it always says 'more chapters or nah? idk' i have no idea why it keeps popping up cause i meant it to only show up in the first chapter. im just saying that you can completely ignore it cause i am planning on more chapters lol. sorry about that thing.
> 
> but anyways, whoop whoop its 3 am and i just finished this hell yeah yall are awesome and give me life and every comment or kudos just makes me so happy. dont deserve it at all but god damn you guys are so supportive. hope you enjoy this chapter!

Waking up was a confusing experience that day. 

Newt was instantly made aware of the body that he was hugging against him. Opening one eye cautiously, he looked down and saw Credence. Credence, who was still asleep and looked happy and peaceful for once and Newt could lay there all day and just-

He leaned farther back, trying to have a better view of Credence, when he felt a sudden panic. "Augh!" Newt let out a strangled scream as he flopped out of the bed, bringing Credence along with him since he too had his arm wrapped around Newt. The air in his lungs whooshed out as Credence landed on top of him, and he struggle to breathe properly. 

Miraculously, Credence was still asleep. Un-miraculously, Newt was currently dying. 

"Cre-Credence." Newt coughed out, slightly shaking the boy on top of him. After another moment of thinking he was never going to see his creatures again, Credence woke up. 

He sleepily lifted his head, unaware of the current situation. He looked at Newt, who attempted to smile back. 

"Hello, erm, so sorry, but do you mind getting up for a-" Newt wheezed slightly. "A moment?"

Credence looked down, eyes widened, and finally seemed to understand. "Oh, I'm sorry!" He exclaimed as he leaped to his feet. Newt breathed in deeply as he did so. "I must've rolled over." He bowed his head. 

"Ah, no it was my fault." Newt got up and sat back down on the bed. "I was-" He stopped himself.

Credence looked at him, confused and waiting for him to continue.

Newt looked anywhere but at him, uncomfortably clearing his throat. "Well, no matter, because today we begin lessons!" He sprang up and raced over to his suitcase. 

Credence immediately dropped their previous conversation, and bounced slightly as Newt clicked open his suitcase. Newt smiled to himself, thanking his quick thinking.

"I have some snacks down there that we can eat for breakfast. I don't want to waste any of the time we have left on this ship." Newt talked as he walked into the suitcase, closely followed by Credence. "Now, obviously you will soon need a wand, but there's no wand shop aboard, is there?" Newt chortled, grabbing a granola bar and handing it to Credence. He grabbed one himself and took a bite out of it. "We'll get you to Ollivander's soon enough. But for now-" Newt hefted a huge chunk of raw meat onto his cutting board. "We'll work on controlling your Obscurus." 

"But what if I lose control?" 

Newt took another bite of his granola bar before lifting his knife from where it sat on the table. "You won't. You know the tented area that I told you not to go in?" He didn't wait for a response. "That's where we'll be. It's not the nicest place, but," Newt pointed his large butcher knife over his shoulder to Credence, "It has the best conditions for you." 

Newt lifted his knife into the air, and felt a pang in his chest as he was reminded of what was inside the tent. Of being a moment too late. A brief picture of the tiny girl howling with agony flashed before his eyes. He sniffed, shaking his head, and swiftly brought his knife down onto the meat.

 

****************************

 

Newt had said that they weren't able to spend as much time with the creatures, since he knew they were likely to be with them for hours. He gave Credence one half of the suitcase, dropped two buckets in his hands, and set off to his own half.

"Hello, hello!" Newt called out, grinning as he went about. The beasts were anxious and hungry, crowing with happiness as their own respective food flew to them. "I'll be back later."

He stopped in front of the Bowtruckle tree, and reached into his pocket to take out Pickett. 

"Come on now." Newt sighed as Pickett immediately dug his branches to his hand upon seeing what he was trying to do. "Just for a few hours. I don't want you getting hurt while I'm with Credence. Could be dangerous."

Pickett crossed his arms, and sent him a look that said, "Really?" They both very well knew that Newt was always throwing himself into danger.

"Alright, quit nagging me. This could be...extra dangerous for you." Newt lifted his hand closer to the tree. "Please?"

Pickett simply lay down on Newt's hand, wrapping his branches around his palm. Newt chuckled. "Stubborn one." He tucked him back into his pocket. "Credence?" Newt called out.

He began to walk over to the side he assigned Credence. "Credence?" Newt called out once more. No reply.

Newt picked up his pace briskly, suddenly getting flashbacks of what had happened yesterday. "Credence!" He couldn't help the panic in his voice. 

"Over here." Credence's soft voice spoke. Newt breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to his right. Upon seeing him, he stopped in his tracks.

Credence was sitting with the Mooncalves, smiling brighter than Newt had ever seen. They were all bunched around him, each one nearly climbing over the other to get his affection. However there was one in his lap that seemed happiest of them all, and Newt instantly knew that was the one that Credence had attacked. Now it was a completely different story as he watched Credence giggle as he tickled its belly. 

Newt stepped forward, but didn't get any closer since he knew he shouldn't intrude a precious moment. "Amazing."

Credence glanced up. "Yes, they are."

"No. Well, yes them too, but- but I meant you, Credence. You're amazing. How on earth did you gain their trust again so quickly?"

Credence ducked his head, blushing as he continued to pet the Mooncalve. "I'm not sure. I finished feeding them and..." He seemed too embarrassed to continue.

"Yes?" Newt prompted.

"I-I spoke to them. Silly, I know-"

"Not at all."

Credence looked at him gratefully. "But, I'm sorry, we should start the lesson now. I've finished feeding all the creatures." Credence gently picked the Mooncalve off his lap, giving it a final pat. 

Newt was completely gone. He was so in awe at this person standing before him, so thrilled to have met another who had the same gusto for beasts like Newt did. He was so, so glad Credence was here. 

Newt was broken out of his trance by the sharp pinch Pickett gave him on his chest. "Ehm, right so, this way." He quietly thanked Pickett, and led Credence into the tent.

 

*********************************

 

Being in there hurt.

Newt winced as he watched the Obscurus circle around in its orb, restless. He could see the muted pain it was in, writhing around at times when it got too much. Newt hated being in here. He hated the memories it brought. But through it all, he just felt sadness and pity for the girl who was never given a chance in this world. 

"Newt? Are you okay?" Credence's voice brought him back.

"What? Oh, yes." Newt glanced at him quickly. He brought his attention down to a loose thread in his shirt. 

"It's her. It's the girl, isn't it?" 

Newt looked back up at him, but Credence's gaze was upon the Obscurus. 

"Yes." He spoke softly. "The Obscurus that was in her."

There was a sudden change in Credence. He straightened up, and there was a glint in his eyes that Newt had never seen from him before. He looked strong, determined.

"Let's start."

 

*****************************

"Right, Credence, when you walked in this tent, how did you feel?" Newt questioned.

"I felt...relaxed. Like-like how I feel with you. Comfortable."

"Good, good." Newt paced in front of Credence, the gears in his head turning. "Now, whenever you change into an Obscurus, it seems to be brought on by rage. Pain. We need to change that. Or at least channel it a different way." He stopped pacing. "Take those good feelings. Concentrate on them."

Credence closed his eyes. 

"Let it take over you. Let those feelings overcome all that pain. Try to change into your other form."

Credence's right hand twitched. Newt could see, faintly, black wisps of smoke rising from him, his human form dissolving. But it's clearly not enough.

Credence opened his eyes, bending over. He was breathing heavily. 

"I'm sorry, it takes more effort. Usually I can just snap into it, but it's-it's like it's straining against me."

"It's alright, Credence, take a deep breath." Newt walked forward, placing his hands on Credence's shoulders. After a couple minutes, Credence righted up. 

"I was watching your body. You have still have too much tension in here." Newt gently squeezed his shoulders. "Relax. Loosen all your muscles."

Credence nodded and closed his eyes once more. He sighed, and eventually, his shoulders were loose underneath Newt's grip.

"Excellent." Newt stepped back now, releasing his hold. "Now, let's try this. Think of what makes you the happiest. Think of whatever memory you may have that brought you peace." Newt turned and walked a few steps away from him. "What makes you the happiest?"

"You."

"Pardon?" Newt whirled around.

"You make me the happiest."

Thank goodness Credence's eyes were closed or else he would've seen Newt go beet-red. "O-oh. It, uh, was a rhetorical question."

Credence seemed to shrink. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, no it's...good." Newt smiled warmly. "It's great. Focus on that."

Credence let out a small smile, and straightened. 

"Relax...and be happy." Newt said quietly.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Credence began to fade into the whirling black mist. Newt grinned.

"Yes! Yes, good, Credence, you're doing well!"

He continued to break down, every molecule joining the growing mist. Eventually, he was completely gone and in his Obscurus form.

Newt whooped loudly, and Credence flew around the tent in excitement. He looked completely free and happy, not charged with self-hate and rage. It was beautiful to watch him float around so peacefully, and Newt turned in circles to keep watching.

Credence rushed down, and changed back into his human form. Newt couldn't help himself; he ran to him and nearly tackled him down. Newt tightly gripped him, laughing wildly.

"That was brilliant, Credence! Just brilliant!" 

Credence laughed a bit, and returned the hug. "Thank you. I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you."

Newt pulled back, still beaming. "Ah, I barely gave you a nudge. That was all you, Credence."

Credence shook his head. "No, you...you've done so much more. So much." He looked at Newt, and he didn't need to say anymore. His eyes said it all.

"Can I kiss you?" Newt asked.

Credence was shocked, but quickly got over it as he nodded with vigor.

Newt leaned forward, and as soon as their lips touched, he could not help but smile through it. His lips were so soft, so perfect against his own, and they moved in unison. Newt thought this was the best kiss he ever had. He thought Credence felt so warm under his arms. He thought he loved the way Credence felt confident and strong against him.

He thought...

He thought...

Newt thought of Leta.

With a gasp, Newt wretched himself away from Credence. Credence stared at him with all the happiness drained from him. His eyes were filled with hurt and confusion. 

"I'm-I'm sorry." Newt whispered, eyes wild with pain. "But I can't."

He walked out of the tent, leaving Credence in the cold.


	5. Still Love Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, please ignore the end notes that ask if i should write more chapters. actually, in fact i think there's only about one or two more chapters for me to write? which is crazy because i loved writing this so much but i am excited to see how it ends. yall are crazy supportive and awesome, and without you guys i wouldn't have continued writing this. Enjoy! (sorry if this chapter is a bit lacking, im trying to set up the next chapter with it. hopefully that will be better?)

Newt hadn't slept that night.

He had stayed in the suitcase, only coming out to retrieve his manuscripts from the desk in the room. Credence, well...

When Newt had come out, he saw Credence lying on the bed in the same way he had on the first day. It hurt Newt to see him like that and know that he was the cause of this. He hesitated at the bed, considered saying something, but he only sighed and left. No, they were better off like this. Newt couldn't afford to get into a relationship with Credence, not after what had happened with Leta.

As he worked that night, he couldn't concentrate on a single thing he was doing. He only thought of Credence, and what would happen if they were to be together. Watching Leta turn her back on Newt, watching her follow in her family's footsteps had reminded Newt that not everyone could be saved. What would happen if Newt had failed in saving Credence from the constant darkness that consumed him? What would happen if Newt had to watch another person he loved turn their back on him again?

Perhaps they could just be friends. Perhaps they could remain as they were and not ever become closer. Not ever touch one another as they had in the tent, even though Newt wanted that so badly but no he couldn't, he couldn't because...

Newt banged his head against the wall of the shed. His thoughts continued to run in circles that night, but Newt just kept working.

 

***************************

 

Newt was with the creatures that morning, and he was slightly worried about Credence. He still hadn't gotten up and when Newt had peered up out of the suitcase, he could still see that he was in the same position as the night before. 

Newt frowned to himself as he tossed food to the roaring Nundu. Pickett looked out of his place in Newt's pocket, gazing up at him with concerned eyes.

Newt offered him a smile halfheartedly. "Alright there, Pickett?" He reached the Graphorns, cooing to them as he tossed a hunk of meat to them.

Pickett raced up his arm, sat down on his shoulder, and hugged Newt's neck. Newt chuckled. 

"Thank you, Pickett. You always know what I need, don't you?" He gently patted Pickett's thin back, earning a happy purr from him. Newt continued his chores, tending to the beasts and tidying up the shed. His tasks took up the rest of the morning, and he was exhausted by the time he sat down at his makeshift work space in the shed. For a few minutes, he sat there with his eyes closed, taking a few deep breaths.

"What am I going to do, Pickett?" Newt groaned. He felt his friend's tiny branch hands tug on his hair. Newt peeked at Pickett with one eye, hoping he had some encouraging tones.

However, Pickett narrowed his eyes at him, all signs of the lovable, hugging Bowtruckle gone. He crossed his arms, stomped his tiny feet, and pointed up. Newt picked him up, now putting his full attention on Pickett, and placed him on his palm.

"What, you mean I should go talk to him?" Newt said incredulously.

Pickett nodded.

"What would I even say? 'Oh hello Credence, yes I do fancy you a lot but we can't be together because I'm terrified of not being enough to help you. Would some tea help you feel better?'" Newt sarcastically spat out. Pickett huffed, and turned away from Newt.

Newt's features softened, and he instantly felt bad. "Hey, okay, I'm sorry, Pickett. That was unfair." He sighed. Pickett looked over his shoulder. "I just don't know what to say. I never do." Newt bowed his head.

Pickett tapped his thumb, getting Newt to look up. He pointed to his own chest, then pointed to Newt's, right where his heart was.

Newt grinned. "You've always been dramatic, haven't you?" He laughed as Pickett let out a squeak of protest. "Thank you, Pickett." Newt stood up and tucked his friend in his front pocket. 

"Wish me luck, now." 

 

******************************

 

"Credence?" Newt whispered as he opened the suitcase. Credence was still on the bed. Newt climbed out, and clicked his suitcase shut. He stood still for a moment, nervously clenching his hands. "Credence, can we talk?" 

The bed groaned as Credence shifted.

"Credence, I..." Newt took one step to the bed. "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

Credence was silent.

"I don't think..." Newt gulped, willing the words to get out of his throat. "I mean, well, you should know that I think you're...nice." He finished lamely. 

Understandably, there was no response.

"And- and that I do wish that the circumstances were different." Newt moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "But I can't see you getting hurt because of me. I'm sorry." 

Credence sat up, and leaned against the headboard of the bed. He looked like a wreck. 

"You wouldn't hurt me."

"But I did! Just yesterday." Newt protested.

Credence shook his head. "Yes, I was confused, but I...I remembered that picture I saw in your shed. The one of the girl." He barely spoke but his words resonated within Newt. 

"I don't blame you at all. I understand. You still love her," Credence continued, "and I don't want to come between you and her."

Newt shook his head. "You wouldn't be. Not really." He let out a harsh laugh. "Leta and I have already parted ways. All my fault, really. I couldn't give her enough."

Credence frowned. "Why would she expect you to give her anything in the first place?"

Newt couldn't say anything to that. The bed creaked again as Credence scooted closer to Newt, taking his clenched fist and rubbing soothing circles on his knuckles. 

"Newt, I'm okay with just being friends. I'm okay as long as I'm with you." He rested a hand on Newt's cheek, nudging him to look at Credence. "Would you be okay with it?"

Newt smiled sadly. "It doesn't matter what I think."

"Yes, it does." Credence said firmly. "It matters to me."

Newt pulled back from him, forcing Credence to drop his hand. He looked away for a moment, biting his lip as he told himself to get it together. Finally, he turned back to him.

"Friends?" Newt smiled and offered a hand to Credence, and it hurt him so much to say that. It hurt to think that he would never be able to kiss him again, never be able to call him his, and never be able to say out loud that yes, he did love Leta, but he learned to love Credence so much more. 

Credence looked at him with sympathetic eyes, as if he could look past Newt's facade and see how much he was hurting. He sighed, eyebrows scrunched up in concern, and shook Newt's hand. He replied forlornly,

"Friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo okay, okay, i apologize for having 2 sad chapters in a row, i cannot help it. BUT, but...actually i can't guarantee the next one will be happy.....pls don't kill me. they will have a happy ending and there will be cuddles and warm clothing, mark my words
> 
> hey, but feel like letting out those crewt/newdence feels? come over to my tumblr divabucky and feel free to chat with me! i got lots of gay stuff. it's mainly marvel, so sorry about that. okay, toodles <3


End file.
